


Through the Looking Glass

by Furuba_Fangirl



Series: The Boredom Chronicles [5]
Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bellarke Baby, Domestic Fluff, Established Relationship, F/M, Fluff, Implied Sexual Content, Season/Series 06
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-03
Updated: 2019-06-03
Packaged: 2020-04-07 09:21:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,382
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19082131
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Furuba_Fangirl/pseuds/Furuba_Fangirl
Summary: Clarke has everything to be happy. A loving husband and two children she loves dearly. However, she's still haunted by the ghosts of her past and they won't let her rest





	Through the Looking Glass

Clarke recalls reading about sleep paralysis in one of her father’s old books. A phenomenon where people described being conscious but unable to move. Some people would even see shadowy, demonic figures as they struggled to regain control.

Now Clarke understood how they must’ve felt. Helpless. Terrified. A prisoner in their own body.

Except she recognizes her demons; their names are Russel and Simone Lightbourne.

She tries so hard to speak. To beg them not to kill her but the words don’t come out. She only feels hot tears pour down her cheeks as Russel approaches her, a metallic syringe in hand. As she feels the prick of the needle penetrate her skin, she feels her body jolt up. Clarke flails relentlessly to fend him off and screams, “Get away from me! Please! I don’t want to die!”

Russel grabs her wrists firmly, pinning them together as his face distorts in anger. “Clarke, calm down! Clarke!”

“Clarke! Wake up!”                                         

Clarke’s eyes shoot open and are met with concerned, amber eyes, instead of icy blue ones. She looks around to see that she’s in bed, the sunlight starting to peek through their bedroom curtain. “Bellamy,” she breathes, reaching out to cup his face.

He gently lets go of her clenched hands and strokes her cheek lovingly. Bellamy hushes, “It’s me, Princess… You’re okay. It was just a bad dream.” He presses a tender kiss to her forehead and she wraps her arms around him, openly weeping on his bare shoulder. Bellamy continues to kiss her neck softly and rubs her back to calm her.

There’s a frantic knock on their bedroom. “Clarke! Bellamy! Are you guys okay?” Madi asks worriedly from behind the wooden door.

“We’re fine, kiddo,” Bellamy calls out still cradling Clarke in his arms. “Sorry for scaring you.”

There’s a brief pause before she answers, “Okay.”

After a while, Clarke peels away to wipe her face with the back of her hand. “I got snot all over you,” she sniffles.

Bellamy giggles lightly. “Clarke, we’ve been married for three years. I can deal with it.” He brushes a few strands of hair away from her face and pecks her tear-stained cheek.

She smiles, relieved to feel the comforting presence of her husband. As he pulls away slightly, Clarke notices small scratches on the side of his neck. She reaches out to touch them and he winces a bit. “Did… Did I—“

“It’s wasn’t your fault,” he quickly assures.

“Still… I’m sorry, Bellamy.” She sits up to kiss his injury.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

She shrugs. “It wasn’t anything new… It was when the Lightbourne’s you know…”

Bellamy nods his head slowly, understanding what’s she’s referring to and intertwines their hands together. Suddenly, they hear a wail from the adjacent room. “Sounds like Madi wasn’t the only one we woke up.”

“I’ll go check on him,” she volunteers, starting to throw the blankets off her legs.

“Don’t worry I got this,” he halts. “Tell you what. Why don’t you hop in the bath and I’ll take care of August. Then I’ll spend the rest of the day spoiling you rotten.”

“Bellamy, you don’t have to do that for me…”

He grabs her chin gently and Clarke melts into the slow kiss he gives her. “Of course, I do… Because I love you.” She exhales happily clutching his hand tightly. “So, get that gorgeous ass of yours into the bathtub while I assume my fatherly duties.”

“Fine, fine,” she relents with a smile, giving his knuckle a quick kiss.

-

Clarke heads downstairs, patting the excess water from her long, golden locks with her towel. She stops at the doorway and takes the wholesome sight before her. Madi is at the wood burning stove, frying smoked _Montauk_ meat on a skillet while Bellamy is feeding August berry puree. She smiles blissfully, wondering how she got so lucky to have such an amazing family. “Morning,” she greets.

“Morning,” Madi replies as she continues to supervise breakfast.

Bellamy turns his head and beams at her. “Morning, beautiful. August, say, ‘Morning, Momma.’”

The toddler claps his hands cheerfully and babbles his own version of the phrase.

Clarke walks to her son with a wide smile. “Good morning, my prince.” She lifts him off of his high chair and August giggles helplessly as she blows raspberries against his tummy. Clarke holds him closely as she wipes purple mush from his face with his bib. She smooches his pudgy, freckled cheeks and rubs his blonde curls. She rests him on her lap as she sits down next to Bellamy at the dining table.

“So, Madi, do you have plans for today?” Clarke asks.

Madi brings them a tin mug filled with coffee and a served plate. “I was going to go up to Sanctum to babysit Hope for Diyoza but I can take August along so you two have the day free.”

“Are you sure you can handle both of them? I can always get Mom to take care of August,” Clarke suggests.

“Clarke, don’t worry. They’ll be fine,” Bellamy assures her with a squeeze to the shoulder.

“Okay, then,” she accepts taking a sip from her coffee.

After breakfast, she kisses her children goodbye as they head out the door. “Buh-bye,” August babbles as he waves his tiny hand at them. They wave back at him as they disappear into the valley.

Clarke turns to Bellamy and wraps her arms around his neck. “So, Mr. Blake. You have me where you want. What are you going to do about it?”

He smirks at her and nuzzles her nose lightly. “I have a few ideas.”

-

Clarke looks out at the crystal blue water, the two suns reflecting beautifully against it. She looks down at Bellamy laid back on the picnic blanket, his hands tucked behind his head. She sidles up next to him, laying her head on his shoulder. “Feels like yesterday that we first got here and swam in this very lake,” Clarke reminisces.

He kisses the top of his head. “Yeah, I know. Although looking back now, it might not have been such a good idea. The last time we jumped into unknown waters, Octavia got bit by a giant snake.”

“Oh my god, now that feels like a lifetime ago.” Clarke lifts her head up to gaze at Bellamy directly. “With everything that’s happened to us... I’m glad I always had you by my side.”

“Me too, Princess...”

She leans in to capture his lips in hers, savoring the moment. She goes to straddle his hips with her thighs, still hungrily attacking his lips. Clarke pulls away, both of them breathless. 

Bellamy sits up slightly, his hands roaming up Clarke’s back until they reach the bow of her yellow sundress. He slowly undoes it from her nape, kissing her pulse point as the fabric falls off and exposes her bare chest. 

Clarke goes for the hem of his shirt and pulls it off for him, his bronze skin practically glowing in the sun. She seductively whisper, “Let’s go for a swim.”

-

As the suns are about to set, Madi returns with August and groceries at hand. During dinner, she tells them how Hope taught August how to play patty-cake. She also tells them that her babysitting job might increase since Jordan and Delilah were apparently expecting. Clarke watches Madi enthusiastically tell them about her day realizing that the feral little girl she found was on her way to be a young woman.

As Clarke washes the dishes in the basin, Bellamy comes up behind her and wraps his arms around his waist. She lays her head back against his chest as he splays his hand over her lower belly. “Do you think it’s time to try for another one?” he hints.

“I think we might’ve gotten a head start this afternoon,” she reminds mischievously. 

“Fair enough,” he chuckles. They both turn to look at Madi trying to impress August with a magic trick. As she “pulls” a button from his ear, he laughs joyfully.

Clarke smiles faintly and puts her hand over Bellamy’s. “I wouldn’t mind another one,” she admits.

-

After a long day, Clarke carries her sleepy baby to his crib. She carefully lays him down but not before kissing his forehead.” Goodnight, Prince August. May you have sweet dreams,” she coos. His brown eyes stare up at his mother, before slipping shut into a peaceful sleep.

Clarke closes the door quietly and goes to join Bellamy. He spoons her closely, resting his chin on her shoulder. “Today was perfect,” she murmurs blissfully. “Maybe it didn’t start off that way but you and the kids... You’re all I need to keep going. I love you so much,” she yawns.

“I love you too, Princess. Goodnight.”

Clarke feels her eyes getting heavier and she eventually drifts to sleep. However, this is disrupted by August crying. “I’ll go,” Clarke offers sleepily. Bellamy just grunts tiredly in response and she slips out of bed. “Momma’s coming, August,” she announces as he continues to bawl. She opens the door and turns on the lantern on the desk. “What’s wrong, sweetheart—“

As she looks up, she sees a woman holding a terrified August as she hums a lullaby to him. “Such a handsome little boy.”

“Bellamy! Madi! Help me,” she shrieks.

“Well, there’s no point in being dramatic, Clarke. I just wanted to hold him a bit, you know before the big finale.” 

“Give me back my son, you bitch!”

“Okay, okay, chill out.” She holds out the wailing boy toward her. “Here.”

Clarke quickly snatches him away squeezing him tightly in her arms. “It’s okay. It’s okay,” she soothes before rushing out. “Bellamy! Bellamy wake up! Someone’s in the house—“ She pulls back the sheets to find nobody there. “Bellamy?” He must be with Madi, he has to be. Clarke sprints out of the room and down the hall to Madi’s room.

“Madi, you need to get up...” She looks around the room but sees no sign of either of them there.

August is still whimpering in her arms and she presses her cheek against his. “Shh, shh. We’ll find them don’t worry.”

Clarke makes her way downstairs, the creaking boards echoing through the house. She comes to a halt when she sees the woman standing near the front door, twirling a strand of blonde hair. “They’re not here, Clarke. I thought that was pretty obvious.”

Clarke’s body starts to shake in fear and she repeats to herself, “This is a dream. This is a dream”

“Well, you’re not wrong. This _is_ all a dream. I’ve got to say it’s a pretty elaborate one at that. I mean _The Little House on the Prairie_ sort of atmosphere is just adorable.”

“Who the hell are you?”

“Oh, sorry. This is awkward. I’ve been living in your body for a while now and you still don’t know who I am. Josephine Lightbourne. Nice to meet you.” She holds her hand out toward Clarke but she flinches away clutching onto her son.

“Lightbourne... Russel and Simone’s daughter. The one they were trying to resurrect.”

“Ding, ding! We have a winner,” she giggles.

“No... No! You can’t be here! I got away from them before they could…”

Josephine cocks her head at her. “Did you now, Clarke? Do you remember exactly how you did that?” 

“What do you mean...?”

“I mean did you magically just walk out while you were drugged with a paralytic. Who helped you? How long ago was that?”

“That’s...” she tries. She really tries to remember how she got away from the Lightbournes but... she can’t.

“Okay, that event was kind of traumatic so I’ll ask you some easier questions. When did you Bellamy get married?” Josephine looks at her expectantly, a sort of amused smile on her lips.

“Three years ago,” Clarke grits.

“I mean date, time, weather. Come on, Clarke. I’m sure you can remember your own wedding.”

Tears of frustration fill Clarke’s eyes as she struggles to remember the details.

“Awe that’s too bad,” she taunts.

“Shut up,” she growls, making August sob a little.

“I will. I just have a few more questions. In all this time, why hasn’t Madi aged a day? How old is she now? How about this…. When was your baby born, Clarke?”

“Don’t you dare talk about my son,” she warns. 

“ _When_ was he born?” she repeats harshly 

“Don’t! I... I don’t know...” Her body feels heavy as she takes a seat at the end of the stairs. She feels August clutching onto her shirt as he buries his face in her chest. “Why don’t I remember,” she mutters. 

Josephine saunters toward her and kneels down in front of her. “I’ll tell you why. Because while I was out there trying to save humanity. Trying my damn best to ensure humans could live forever. You were here in Lala land.” She motions her hand throughout the living room. “All of this. Your house. Your marriage. Your family. Your son. It was never real.”

“Shut up! You’re lying!”

She shrugs, “There’s no point for me to lie at this point. They’re about to pull the plug on me pretty soon so you’ll see for yourself anyway.” Josephine stands ups and starts heading towards the door. “It’s too bad. You had a pretty nice setup going on here. You can thank your friends when it all disappears.” She opens the door and a blinding light enters through. “Time to wake up, Alice.”

Clarke feels electricity running through her body and she jolts awake with a scream. 

“Clarke! Clarke! It’s okay! You’re okay! 

Her vision focuses on the voice trying to calm her down and she sees Bellamy gripping her shoulders to keep her still. She sighs in relief, “Bellamy.” She wraps him in a hug, burying her face in his chest. “I had the worst dream,” she croaks.

“I know,” he mutters, rubbing her scalp. “I know.”

“Clarke?” 

She turns her head to see Madi standing there “Hey, Madi.” The commander looks relieved as she wraps the two in a group hug.

Clarke feels someone else squeeze her shoulder and notices that Abby is by her side as well. “M-mom, what are you doing here?”

Abby smiles through teary eyes. “It’s a long story, sweetheart.”

She lets go of everyone and exhales, “Well, I’m all ears.” Clarke slicks her hair back but her face suddenly falls.

“What’s wrong?” Abby asks cautiously.

She runs her fingers through hair and realizes that it’s in a short bob. As her fingers reach her nape she grimaces in pain as she feels stitches running vertically along it. She looks around finally realizing she’s in some sort of lab.

“Where am I?”

Bellamy sees that she’s starting to panic and lowers his voice calmly. “Hey, it’s okay. We’re all here. That’s all that matters.”

Clarke swallows thickly, dreading the answer. “Where’s August?”

They all look at each other in confusion. “Honey, who’s August?” Abby wonders.

Clarke feels a dark pit grown in her stomach like she’s falling into an abyss. Her breathing starts to quicken as terror starts setting in. “I need to find him. I need to find August.”

She tries to hop out of the seat but Abby holds her in place. “Clarke, try not to get agitated. You need to rest,” she advises.

“He needs me!” Clarke barks startling everyone. She jumps off the seat and is about to run out the door but Bellamy catches her. She starts smacking his arms away trying to loosen his grip. “Let me go, Bellamy! Let! Me! Go!

“Clarke, you need to calm down! Tell me who August is and I’ll help you find him!”

“He’s our son, Bellamy! Don’t you remember our son,” she cries desperately.

Bellamy stills and his eyes widen. “Clarke... we don’t...” He looks at her distraught face and can’t bring himself to finish the sentence.

She stops fighting him and crumples to the ground, sobbing uncontrollably. Her heart feeling as if it was shredded into a million pieces. “I want my son back! Don’t take him away from me,” she hiccups.

Tears start rolling down Bellamy’s face, feeling the pain of Clarke’s grief. He kneels down next to her cradling her in his arms, letting her mourn the loss of a child he had no knowledge of.

-

Clarke refuses to leave her room for the next few days and nobody pushed her to do so. She doesn’t ask how they were able to bring her back or what happened to the Primes because of it. She doesn’t care. All she knows is the fantasy was over. She is not Clarke Blake, wife and mother of two beautiful children. She was _Wanheda_ : the commander of death and destroyer of worlds. That’s the legacy she will leave behind.

Clarke is startled by a light knock. There’s a long pause before, Bellamy speaks, “Clarke... I know you need space but... we need to talk.” She doesn’t answer him, hoping he’ll just leave but he continues. “I can’t even imagine what you went through or what you’re going through right now. I just want you to know that I’m here for you no matter what...”

Clarke lifts her head from her pillows. She knows he’s not her husband but despite that, he’s still the only person who’s stood by her side through everything. Her confidant. Her best friend.

She drags her heavy body out of bed and walks to the door. She cracks it open slightly, and looks up to see Bellamy’s weary face peeking through. “Just stay with me for a bit,” she requests pitifully.

He silently nods his head and enters inside. She watches as she crawls back into bed and he sits on the edge of it. He turns his head to see a stack of drawings on the night table. “Can I?” he asks. Clarke nods her head indifferently. Bellamy picks up the papers and at the top is a picture of a baby boy, sleeping in his crib. “Is this... August?”

“Mhmm... He had your eyes,” she comments feebly.

Bellamy gulps feeling a lump in his throat form as he traces his small features. He flips to the next one: it’s him feeding August while Clarke and Madi sit around a dining table eating breakfast and laughing. The last one makes him blush darkly. It’s a picture of him and Clarke skinny dipping at the lake, their bare bodies pressed together as they kiss. “They’re beautiful,” he praises, putting them back on the desk.

“They’re stupid,” she grumbles. “It was stupid of me to hold onto something I didn’t deserve in the first place. After everything I’ve done, I shouldn’t have expected to have a happy ending. It’s just… it felt so fucking real,” she whimpers. Bellamy lays down facing a curled up Clarke and inches closer to her. “I felt the weight of August’s chubby body in my arms. I smelled the food Madi was cooking. I felt the warmth of your skin on mine...” Her words turn in to snivels and Bellamy caresses her hip soothingly.

“Don’t you dare say you didn’t deserve it. You of all people deserve to be happy...”

She huffs doubtfully. “It’s too late for me, Bellamy.”

“It’s not too late, Princess... It’s not too late for us.” He runs his hand up to clasp his hand with hers and tucks the other under her cheek. “It’s not too late to make the life you dreamed.”

Clarke’s eyelashes clumped with tears flutter as she feels the heat of his staggered breath. “Bellamy,” she gasps weakly. Bellamy leans in, pressing his lips with hers, the tension in her body dissolving as she sighs into his mouth. Even when they part their lips, she clings onto him tightly. “Don’t leave me again, Bellamy...”

He presses their body closer together and whispers, “Never.”

He stays there holding her, showering with tender affection for the night. When Clarke starts to get tired, she tries to fight the heaviness in her eyelids, afraid she’ll be alone again when she wakes... 

So when the light from the suns shines through her window the next morning, she cries in relief to see Bellamy in her arms. “Morning, Princess.”

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> What started off as a cool idea ended up emotionally wrecking me more than I expected ;_;
> 
> (P.S. Kudos and comments would cheer me up)


End file.
